the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
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If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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