and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize