I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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