you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I understand Curling. That high.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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