We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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