JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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