His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
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Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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