You can't motorboat a personality
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
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so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
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I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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