So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize