some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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