What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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