Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize