I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
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