you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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