i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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