Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize