The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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