Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
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You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
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These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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