i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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