the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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