i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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