I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
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I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
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You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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