So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
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Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
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It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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