I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
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I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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