No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize