The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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