i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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