i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
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he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
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I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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