he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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