What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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