I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize