so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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