you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize