Ambien. No doubt about it.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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