ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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