apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
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I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
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This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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