What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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