okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
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I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
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if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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