I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
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No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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