I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
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Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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