I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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