This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize