I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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