the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
nutella sex= disaster
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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