I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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