Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize