She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I think i got beer on your cat.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize