Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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