I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize