I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize